Post Valentine's Day Hearts

"One sees clearly only with the heart. 
Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

(The following post was written by Everly's godmother, Deeana, the day before Valentine's Day. She is an incredibly special person and friend.)

Everly,

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I’m thinking about the symbolic hearts that decorate the stores as well as my house. I have to wonder why we equate love with this organ in our body – this part of your body that was not fully developed and didn’t allow you to thrive in this world here with your mom and dad and brothers and sister. 

I’m quite sure that your Valentine’s shoe box will be full tomorrow with love notes, but know too that everyone here misses you so much. 

It’s hard to watch your mom because she hurts so much. She’s being so brave, getting up every day and taking care of your brothers and sister. She’s a very good mommy, as you know. They talk about you every day. Hunter wants to take some toys for you to play with in heaven and Emerson has made you some very nice pictures. They are trying very hard to honor you and everything you have taught them.

For me, Everly, I think Valentine’s Day and hearts will remind me of you and all that heart(s) really represent. 

(Emerson writing "I love Mommy, Daddy, Hunter, Cash, Baby Everly and Kathleen.")

You and your mom have taught me so much about this. How easy it is for us all to forget how fleeting and precious time can be. 

(I took this photo right after Cash said his first full sentence: "Hold hand, cold.")

While your mom was teaching you how to make a ham sandwich, I was busy complaining about the time it took each day to do Lorelei’s hair. What perspective this gave me on the gift of time I have with her. How long will she ask me to do her hair? Another 6 months maybe? Now these 15 minutes every morning have become a special time for us that used to be a frustration for me. Thank you for that gift.

The biggest thing your mom taught me was that heart and love is going all-in.  This is it, not the dress rehearsal. Let’s love deeply and get hurt. Let’s sing loudly and in my case be off key.

There is no do over and no reason to hold back. We hold back out of fear, but the fear doesn’t keep us from getting hurt it just keeps us from taking chances and leads to regret.  

I can’t imagine, not having met you, Everly. You have forever changed my life for the better.  I’m mailing you a very large Valentine Card.

Xxoo,

Aunt Deeana   

  

"All the knowledge I posses everyone else can acquire, 

but my heart is all my own."

-Johann von Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther, 1974